Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll yer heart That only a few knew, ta start It all took place our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee ev'ry the Gospel truth Got ta prove it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now was o-fficial tour director, piano-playin' plug connector An' the slave-drivin'-est travel That we seen in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya more rest? "The world don't care whether ya yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with instruments ...and your wives!"
[Choir; in of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] we gather at the airport?
He'd arrive in the nick a' time A good five minutes ahead a' time A-lookin' like been drug through a needle's eye stand there, stoned and about ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' then he'd throw all the on the counter and say "Check the and let's fly!" "Well, mean, this is too much weight? "We only got pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan in Tacoma?"
all get embarassed an' head for the plane While stood there, bein' profane But somehow he always ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the drinks were up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' end All the seemed to commence again Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And though he'd phoned ahead to that Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue We'd end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now took all a' that stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' kicked an' But we looked up to him for hope and salvation But sink to the bottom a' trav'lers hell When he'd check us in a motel And grab the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd himself in room one-oh-four Let nobody in 'til he swept the Adjusted the lampshade, the TV, fixed the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya mean the warmup show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And this the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real good friend a' An' stuck together on down that line But there was one or two points over which we just had to takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna start tomatas An' when ya arrive at four for a five o'clock An' the stage built an' there's no electricity all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait However, you give ol' Milton strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you knew that show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up there in We didn't get paid for a show we'd An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live with his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' then he didn't come out for an hour an' a half We figgered somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood in shock and horror When we busted down that bathroom door And I hope I never see a like that again; no, I don't was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a five-part acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're ready, come next December To put concert tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton a-gonna be with us No, it ain't gonna be the same When they us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has on down the road the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up there the stage lights is always on But we can't that curly hair When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, his thumb, an' sound asleep on the john